I feel like I’m waiting
stalled out
My wheels stuck in mud.
 
Waiting to move again
to breathe out
to reach out
to unclench.
 
I watch this fly 
as he throws himself against my window screen, 
and I understand him. 
Sometimes 
he seems to have resigned to life 
on this side of the mesh 
and flies off as if to resettle inside, 
only to return a few minutes later 
to his frantic 
lifting and landing
crawling
searching
buzzing
stopping to wring his hands in despair. 
Though there is plenty of space on this side of the barrier,
plenty of crumbs and animal butts and overripe fruit 
to busy his tiny mind, 
he still is relentlessly obsessed 
with finding a way out…
to be on the other side.
 
He and I are the same
This fly and I
 
I stare out there too,
through my window
across my lawn
past the green sign marking my quiet street
and I smell the scents of the world beyond
and I feel its pull;
my family and friends
acquaintances and strangers
all trapped behind their own screens
twitching and buzzing
pacing 
and waiting
 
to move again
to breathe out
to reach out
to unclench.

©Vixen Lea 2020