Task ~ a poem

There is a tendency, here 
in the comfortable manicure 
of middle class, 
to sweep aside 
the minutes of our lives 
like buzzing gnats—
the ticking tedium 
of every dirty dish, unfolded sheet, 
empty egg carton, urgent message, 
new post alert: Expected actions 
in the way of contentment.
If only I could 
get through this day
and this sleepless night
and make it to the weekend…
to that vacation…
to retirement…
to the grave…
so I can live my life.

©️Skye Nicholson 2022

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I love the symbolism of rebirth and renewal that comes with this time of year. All hope seems lost, and yet, from the darkness, the light returns.

It is a pattern we’ve seen repeated across human existence: how we must crash down on the dirty floor of the deepest and grimiest parts of our experience in order to reach a state of true joy and light.  Stories of rags to riches, rock bottoms leading to great awakenings, overcoming enormous odds to achieve success… these are the legends of our time.

It’s dramatic. It’s inspirational. But what of those of us who look at our lives and see no slippery wall of dark chasm we must climb out of? What of us who look around and say: Meh, it’s going alriiiight…I mean things could be better, but I can’t really complain. Those of us who are flatlined.

Maybe we would prefer to be waking up in JOY every day, like Amy Poeller’s character in Inside Out, irritating everyone around us with our fanatical positivity, giddy at the prospect of being alive. But if you are anything like me, dear reader, most of your days top out at the pleasing satisfaction of finding that your morning cup of coffee hasn’t yet gotten cold.

Far too often we approach our days with drudgery – a series of mundane tasks that need to be slogged through in order to reach the sweet spot of pajamas and slumber (often prefaced by a glass or two of wine).

There is a mental chafing that comes with that antsy feeling of seeking, a discomfort that we find ways to numb and file down. But numbing, whether with wine, social media, food, or unhealthy relationships, does nothing to resolve the discomfort…it merely throws a blanket over it.

And where does this get us? What is it that we are hurrying towards?

I’ve often found myself consumed with this sense of urgency to get through it – whatever the “IT” is – and be done with whatever seemingly-tedious chore is occupying my time. So that I may…um, get going on the next seemingly-tedious chore. So that at the end of my life I may turn around and say, There. I made it. Finally finished all that crap.

Ok, perhaps that’s a bit of exaggeration, but really, I’ve got to ask myself sometimes: What’s the rush, dear? Slow down and look around.

This. This exhaustion with the trivialness of our own existence is what keeps so many of us from seeing the joy that we each have access to right in front of our faces.

What if we looked at it this way instead: There is no where to go. You are already here.

What if we don’t have to scrape the depths of misery (like Eckhart in his suicidal spiral) in order to achieve a lasting state of joie de vivre?

 What if we just ceased the numbing and the filing down of edges and got real present with our Present?

Maybe we look around and find that it’s actually pretty awesome, and we ought to stop wishing it past us and just go ahead and be happy right now.

Or maybe we find that it IS quite unpleasant, and we ought to sit with it long enough to determine how to rectify it or what needs to change. There is a lot to learn in the liminal space of discomfort.

Either way, we can put ourselves much closer to accessing a place of JOY than simply putting blinders on and getting through another day. 🌼

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Numbing agents like alcohol aren’t selective about the emotions they dampen. By filing down the edges of stress, you are also diminishing joy. If you are curious how reducing your alcohol consumption might change how you feel, visit soulstruthcoaching.com to learn how I can help you take a 30-day break from alcohol and regain power over your life!

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As a mother of two young children, Skye Nicholson found freedom from alcohol addiction in 2018. She is a certified This Naked Mind empowerment coach, paying it forward by helping others to find freedom from what may be holding them back. Her book Unexpected Alchemy: Poems of Addiction and Awakening is available on Amazon.