Envy

It began as an adolescent: I envied her popularity. I envied the magnificence of her giant bangs. I envied the ease of her flirtation with boys. I envied the way she wore her Z Cavariccis. I envied her athleticism, her tanned skin, her confidence, her status. I looked around at the girls who were my peers and I measured myself against them. In my mind, I always fell short. I turned the negative energy of envy inward, silently berating myself. Continue reading Envy

Into the Darkness

I walked with my friend into her darkness yesterday. She is in the midst of raw pain from a new divorce; lonely, shaken, exposed, angry, wild, and new. She was breaking loose from years in shackles. She needed to at once curl into her tenderized soul and nurse the open wounds of failed dreams and yet spread her wings in the updraft of full abandonment.  I followed her into the darkness like a cautious … Continue reading Into the Darkness

Sticky post

Finding The Razzle-Dazzle: My Origin Story

January 7, 2018 is the day that I made the decision to quit drinking.It seems like such a small thing when you look at the words of it: I Decided to Quit Drinking. Like I just made a decision and then that was that and all was good in the world. But of course, it’s so much more nuanced than that. I was SO AFRAID. It was like I was about to say Goodbye to my entire Being; like I was going to strip off all of my layers of self that I had spent the last 25 years of my life crafting around me and start over bare and nude. Continue reading Finding The Razzle-Dazzle: My Origin Story