I walked with my friend into her darkness yesterday. She is in the midst of raw pain from a new divorce; lonely, shaken, exposed, angry, wild, and new. She was breaking loose from years in shackles. She needed to at once curl into her tenderized soul and nurse the open wounds of failed dreams and yet spread her wings in the updraft of full abandonment. I followed her into the darkness like a cautious … Continue reading Into the Darkness
we strive to find a silence that is so elusive in the cacophony of our own minds, but the silence of others is maddening. Continue reading Silence
All of our stories are different, and many are much more traumatic than mine, but they all hold something in common: that horrible underlying fear that we are ultimately not in control of what happens to our bodies. That feeling that as women we will always have to step back and relinquish our power… Which lets us justify our self-destructive acts that purposefully turn down the pilot light in our bellies, and let us walk away from the Force we hold within ourselves, giving it up for lost. Continue reading #metoo
I’ve always been a bit Weird.Ever since I was a little kid I have observed that look on people’s faces when I have said something or behaved in a way that was out of the rhythm of the expected. But when I would drink, all my awkwardness would fall away. Continue reading Welcome to my Weird.
There were a few one-time Alter-egos I tried on that aren’t worth remembering, but the one that I made famous was “Max Malone, P.I.”. Continue reading Of alter-egos, wigs, and general badass-ery
Sometimes it happens. I don’t know why a certain day or a certain event seems to tip the scale and trigger the Beast more than others. It rises up in me fast, starting from a tiny little swirl at first. Continue reading Losing My Shit
It’s been almost 2 years since I lit up my last cigarette. I still daydream about them sometimes, in that softened nostalgic way one remembers a teenage romance. Continue reading Ode to Cigarettes: Opus of an Ex-Smoker