Finding The Razzle-Dazzle: My Origin Story

January 7, 2018 is the day that I made the decision to quit drinking.It seems like such a small thing when you look at the words of it: I Decided to Quit Drinking. Like I just made a decision and then that was that and all was good in the world. But of course, it’s so much more nuanced than that. I was SO AFRAID. It was like I was about to say Goodbye to my entire Being; like I was going to strip off all of my layers of self that I had spent the last 25 years of my life crafting around me and start over bare and nude. Continue reading Finding The Razzle-Dazzle: My Origin Story

vixenleaJanuary 30, 2020September 24, 202011 Comments

Uncategorized

I am Vixen Lea

My hope is that my words can give other people permission to forgive their own shadows and heal themselves. Continue reading I am Vixen Lea

vixenleaJanuary 30, 2020September 19, 2020Leave a comment

Parenthood

Dear Preschool Teachers, With Love

I hope you know how important you are. I want you to know how much you are appreciated. You’ve shrugged it off before (the compliment) like, it’s just your job, just your day to day. But I have seen you soothe the most frantic children, your voice calm and your loving grip never loosening even as you take tiny fists and feet to the face. Continue reading Dear Preschool Teachers, With Love

vixenleaOctober 17, 2020October 17, 20202 Comments

Poetry

Lessons from the oak

There stands a pin oak
straight and sturdy in our front yard, her trunk mottled by
nubs of amputated limbs, lobbed off for daring
to venture too close to a neighbor’s roof;
here is where the bark grows stronger, each wrinkle
a testament to her wisdom
and survival Continue reading Lessons from the oak

vixenleaOctober 13, 2020October 13, 2020Leave a comment

Parenthood, Personal Essay, transformation

Lessons from the wind

I’ve always thought of my Earth Sign stability as an essential counterpart to the recklessness and turbidity of those who allowed themselves to be tossed in the wind. But perhaps I have been overlooking the valuable lesson of the Air Element: Release attachment. Continue reading Lessons from the wind

vixenleaOctober 7, 2020Leave a comment

Shadow Stories, transformation

Envy

It began as an adolescent: I envied her popularity. I envied the magnificence of her giant bangs. I envied the ease of her flirtation with boys. I envied the way she wore her Z Cavariccis. I envied her athleticism, her tanned skin, her confidence, her status. I looked around at the girls who were my peers and I measured myself against them. In my mind, I always fell short. I turned the negative energy of envy inward, silently berating myself. Continue reading Envy

vixenleaSeptember 30, 2020Leave a comment

Uncategorized

About Breonna

If this topic makes you uncomfortable, I implore you, PLEASE DO NOT STOP READING. This is not meant to be a comfortable topic. I want to open up this dialogue; I want to create space to have this difficult conversation.This is not a post about ‘Politics.’ This is a post about HUMANITY. This is a post about long-standing inequalities, compassion, and the strength to look it all in the face and discuss it. Continue reading About Breonna

vixenleaSeptember 28, 20202 Comments

Poetry

What does it mean to be a Woman?

It means:
holding the power of softness and quickness, of words and song, of compassion and forgiveness;
but sometimes forgetting that these qualities are not weak, but Mighty, and therefore shrinking, despite ourselves Continue reading What does it mean to be a Woman?

vixenleaSeptember 21, 2020September 21, 2020Leave a comment

sobriety, transformation

The Chrysalis

In our earthly human lives, if we are lucky enough, we will find ourselves in a transformative state much like the pile of soupy goo inside a chrysalis. If we are lucky enough, we will not trudge through our whole existence as a flightless caterpillar. Continue reading The Chrysalis

vixenleaSeptember 17, 2020September 19, 20201 Comment

Personal Essay, sobriety, transformation

Let’s Talk About Sober, Baby

It has been 2 years, 8 months, and 7 days (approximately) since I made the decision to break free from the grip of consistent alcohol abuse.But alcohol has crossed my lips since then. Continue reading Let’s Talk About Sober, Baby

vixenleaSeptember 15, 2020September 19, 2020Leave a comment

transformation, Uncategorized

Remain Awake

The work. The writing. The money. The emotion. The relationship. The family. These things are not mine to claim ownership over. Everything belongs to the universe. Continue reading Remain Awake

vixenleaSeptember 12, 2020September 19, 20202 Comments

Personal Essay, transformation

Wild and precious life

I am in a state of transformation/expansion/phase change/growth spurt. I woke up the other with my jaw clenched, thoughts rolling round and round…Something is shifting in me. Continue reading Wild and precious life

vixenleaSeptember 6, 2020September 19, 20201 Comment

Waking up Razzle-Dazzle

I speak my truth to heal. I no longer run from my shadows.